And now, the rest of the story.

A few weeks before Alayna wrote this wish list to Santa

We are not sure when she lost her Ipod, and have searched high and low turning our house and the cabin inside out in hopes to find it.  Knowing Santa is "magic" I think it was a last resort.

Unfortunately Santa is not that magic... :(

So he wrote her this note and set it out for Alayna Christmas morning.

It reads, 

Dear Alayna,

I love you very much.You are a very special girl, and I love watching you be good and trying to be good all year. I know it can be hard with a brother and sisters, but it makes me especially jolly when you are kind to them.

You have a very special place in my heart. I get so excited to hear what you want for Christmas each year. You are a creative one.

You asked me to find your Ipod touch this year. The problem is… I am not in the business of finding.  I give children toys and sometimes they loose them. I am sorry that you have misplaced your Ipod, but I know that you will do your best searching high and low to find it.  And if by chance you don’t find it, maybe that will be something you put on you list for next year. You are a good girl and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and enjoy the surprises I brought to you this year.

                                                                                        

Much Love,

Santa

She was so funny Christmas morning about the letter.  She read it and announced to me "Santa thinks I'm creative!" but then would not let me see it.  It was just to her and she was COMPLETELY satisfied.

Fast forward to January 7th.  Ashtyn needed a bag for her ski lessons and found Alayna's Ipod in her old backpack.  We were all thrilled.  

But here is the BEST part...

The next morning Alayna found a bedazzled stitch case on her dresser and the Sir George Mud Fudge sitting on Alayna's shelf.  

Santa has still got his "MAGIC"

(I will keep my feelings of the elf on the shelf to myself except... The E.O.T.S. was one of my regrettable motherhood purchases and Sir George is an Elf on the SHELF. The.End. To the dismay of the monkeys, no craziness here.  Although I do appreciate his help in bringing this special late gift back from the north pole, so not a total regret.)

Why I do this thing called "blogging?"

I love when I have a morning to read blogs. I get to catch up with family and friends. I get to connect with other adults who are just as busy as I am with kids or work or church or whatever.
I love that I have something to talk about when we do finally see them in person. (once a year or once a month?)

Even more though, I want my children to know and see the things that happened around here.
I have never been good at keeping a journal.
I don't enjoy the pressure of a scrapbooks.

By pressure I mean
keeping photos in order,
having a book for each child,
documenting every recital,
bruise and athletic accomplishment.
Not to mention making each page look fantastic....

BUT blogging I can do....I have done.

I am comfortable putting thoughts and feelings here.

I have never been comfortable
putting thoughts and feelings
in an empty lined page book.

I have a different perspective with my blog in mind.
I look at what is good,
what is cute,
what is inspiring
and what is fun.

The one time I got mad at Jay and wrote down my feelings
(I emphasize mad and wrote down feelings)
It took me a long time to get over it.
A. long. time.
If I still remember every detail am I really over it?
Or do I remember it because I wrote every irking detail down?

I have forgotten most other times I have become mad over whatever little thing Jay has done, said or not done.

I like remembering everything being perfect. I like thinking this life of ours is good, fun, uplifting and maybe a few hiccups sprinkled in.


BUT the most driving reason I keep posting is for my Mom.
The one who made me who I am.
The one who taught me to like things to be perfect.
Enjoy the beautiful things.
Look at the positive....She still does.

6 years ago, She was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
It was a surprise but we had NO idea what the future held.
She lost her mobility very quickly.
It is hard to travel and even harder not to.

She can't watch her kids be parents and her grandchildren be kids like most get to.
BUT she can watch them grow in every post I make.

We can't go shopping looking for the perfect dishes or the cutest accessory
BUT she is still thoughtful and can order the cutest tractor silverware for my picky eater.

We are not side by side in the kitchen making cookies or Thanksgiving dinner,
BUT I feel her by my side as I make the recipes she has posted to her blog.

She continues to teach me, inspire me and love me
even though it is not the way my fairy tale mind had it all planned out.

As mother's day comes every year I think about her last pregnancy.
It was somewhat of a surprise.
A welcomed one, that ended in the 5th month, when she lost the baby.
I was in the fourth grade.
I liked peeking at the brand new turquoise satin blanket still in the plastic all ready in bottom drawer of her dresser.
For years I kept track of how old my little sister would be.
My Grandma, her mother in law, sent her some money after the loss to buy herself something nice.
Mom purchased and planted a dogwood tree.
I thought it was so little.
I liked big climbing trees.
But once it bloomed it had my eternal attention.
It was stunning.
Just like motherhood
It had the most glorious moments when it elegantly flowers.
But just like motherhood
It is not always about the beautiful flowers
the leaves change....

I learned a lot from her planting that tree. And even though the flowers are not blooming the whole year through, that is what I remember most about that tree.


(The above picture is a print from IKEA. It is like the photographer took it right out of my mind. Soon to be framed and hung)

Jacob's Eating Disorders and Feeding Therapy

This has been one of the biggest parenting struggles so far. And I need to document our progress. Maybe one day when He is eating me out of house and home I will look back and see how far he has come.

Jacob has had eating issues from the beginning. I was determined to breastfeed for at least 6 months. I BF him til I dried up at 3 months. I was disappointed to be cut so short. We started him on formula and he was shortly thereafter put on prevacid and carnation good start. When it was time to start solids, he was so finicky. That is when the oatmeal started. Looking back this post was the beginning. He would not try anything new. It has been oatmeal or milk 3 times a day. Worried about his nutrition so I added in carnation instant breakfast and V8 fusion.

Since then, 2 years later, the little guy has battled through a lot. He is a HUGE kid. He is 2 and wears mostly size 5/5T. The above pic, shows how much he needs more meat on his body. I have taken him to a couple of Dr.s and my BFF is a Speech Therapist/Feeding Specialist at Primary Children's Hospital. The Dr.s keep telling me that he is growing and looks healthy. Amy has done some therapy with him and has given me therapy to do with him. We have tried rewards, threats, love, fights...everything.

We are now to the point where we eat dinner/meals as a family as often as possible. He has to eat 3 bites of what we are eating (we started at 1bite) It is such a process.
He used to be sent to the garage and have a good cry. Fighting to even get 1 bite chewed and swallowed without gagging or throwing up.
The first 4 times he ate mashed potatoes, he threw them up. Twice immediately and twice that night in he bed.??
So getting a bite down has been the first hurdle.
Now he gets to play with a special fire truck when he gets his bites down.

I can't figure out what it is that has him gagging? Is it the texture? Is is the flavor? Is it hurting him? Why doesn't he gag when he is eating something sweet? Oatmeal, poptarts, granola bars, chocolate, apples, grapes, yogurt? I have put the 'why' on the shelf for a little while and see if we can't just get through the bites.
There are little victories, like the day he ate a small (5 bites) bowl of mac and cheese. And other days when it takes 35 minutes or more to get one bite down. He almost always will say "mmm yum it is so good" but will never want the next bite. He now has tasted beans, noodles, chicken, steak, lettuce, spaghetti, peaches, pears, strawberries.
He very rarely gets more than 3 bites. Most recently, he did eat an entire dino chicken nugget. (It took more than 45 minutes)





You can tell he is trying so hard. BUT seriously it is so FRUSTRATING, it is such a mental deal for this little guy. Finally in the above video, by 1 min and 54 secs he gets the noodle in and gags a bit but chews it. He did eat another one after we shut the video off.

I can't wait for the day he asks for seconds.