Why I do this thing called "blogging?"

I love when I have a morning to read blogs. I get to catch up with family and friends. I get to connect with other adults who are just as busy as I am with kids or work or church or whatever.
I love that I have something to talk about when we do finally see them in person. (once a year or once a month?)

Even more though, I want my children to know and see the things that happened around here.
I have never been good at keeping a journal.
I don't enjoy the pressure of a scrapbooks.
By pressure I mean
keeping photos in order,
having a book for each child,
documenting every recital,
bruise and athletic accomplishment.
Not to mention making each page look fantastic....

BUT blogging I can do....I have done.

I am comfortable putting thoughts and feelings here.

I have never been comfortable
putting thoughts and feelings
in an empty lined page book.

I have a different perspective with my blog in mind.
I look at what is good,
what is cute,
what is inspiring
and what is fun.

The one time I got mad at Jay and wrote down my feelings
(I emphasize mad and wrote down feelings)
It took me a long time to get over it.
A. long. time.
If I still remember every detail am I really over it?
Or do I remember it because I wrote every irking detail down?

I have forgotten most other times I have become mad over whatever little thing Jay has done, said or not done.

I like remembering everything being perfect. I like thinking this life of ours is good, fun, uplifting and maybe a few hiccups sprinkled in.

BUT the most driving reason I keep posting is for my Mom.
The one who made me who I am.
The one who taught me to like things to be perfect.
Enjoy the beautiful things.
Look at the positive....She still does.

6 years ago, She was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
It was a surprise but we had NO idea what the future held.
She lost her mobility very quickly.
It is hard to travel and even harder not to.

She can't watch her kids be parents and her grandchildren be kids like most get to.
BUT she can watch them grow in every post I make.

We can't go shopping looking for the perfect dishes or the cutest accessory
BUT she is still thoughtful and can order the cutest tractor silverware for my picky eater.

We are not side by side in the kitchen making cookies or Thanksgiving dinner,
BUT I feel her by my side as I make the recipes she has posted to her blog.

She continues to teach me, inspire me and love me
even though it is not the way my fairy tale mind had it all planned out.

As mother's day comes every year I think about her last pregnancy.
It was somewhat of a surprise.
A welcomed one, that ended in the 5th month, when she lost the baby.
I was in the fourth grade.
I liked peeking at the brand new turquoise satin blanket still in the plastic all ready in bottom drawer of her dresser.
For years I kept track of how old my little sister would be.
My Grandma, her mother in law, sent her some money after the loss to buy herself something nice.
Mom purchased and planted a dogwood tree.
I thought it was so little.
I liked big climbing trees.
But once it bloomed it had my eternal attention.
It was stunning.
Just like motherhood
It had the most glorious moments when it elegantly flowers.
But just like motherhood
It is not always about the beautiful flowers
the leaves change....

I learned a lot from her planting that tree. And even though the flowers are not blooming the whole year through, that is what I remember most about that tree.

(The above picture is a print from IKEA. It is like the photographer took it right out of my mind. Soon to be framed and hung)


snakeriverwalton said...

you are a good lady! I love your blog.

Ashley said...

Sara you make me want to blog again, what a beautiful blog. I need to get back to it again. I just find it hard to stay motivated to keep it up.