Jay and I were asked to speak in church today. Jay spoke, I bawled and blubbered. I told the Bishopric that it was unfair to ask an emotional pregnant lady to speak and tried to say no and get out of it, but to no avail.

I boo hoo'd through my laurel lesson the previous week and knew I was in trouble. Not to mention that I sweat like a 'fat chick at cartwheel camp' (I totally copied that from our 'new year' friend) anytime I have to speak in front of people.

In preparation, I asked everyone I could about what they could enlighten me on the given topic and they all had great insights which lead to a decent talk, if only they could have understood it through the sniffs and hoo hoo's. When I asked Emily O. she said to forget preparation and just get up mumble through crying for a few minutes and say amen. Which is about what I did... only I added little extra crying for effect.

Jay had us all ready and kids in the car running 15 minutes early. That is when the panic started. I stayed in the house and started to shake, feeling like I was going to pass out, so I reached for something to eat. Jay walked in and with the dessert from last night recruiting trip (HEAVENLY read with angels ahh-ing raspberry torte) in hand I lost it. The dam had broke and tears were running like the amazon river. Patiently he ate the dessert with me got me some nuts and a coke telling me it was a magic potion and we left for church. Trying to keep things together Jay kept things light and reassuring me I was going be fine. I on the other hand was envisioning me passing out hitting the pulpit and blood.

I had the reservoirs under control until the sweet youth speaker spoke of her family being sealed. I lost it, the shake cry with snot and everything. I blew my nose and a huge snot bubble grew out from under the kleenex. NOT GOOD!
Then it was my turn....
Jay said to speak until I couldn't anymore. I got up and started with a few tears, then a bit of composure then completely lost it, turned to Jay just minutes in and was to the point of not being able to talk. He gave me that coaches look like you've got this just do it. And as much as I wanted to just walk out and cry in the car, I made it through my entire 8 page talk....Not sure how much was understood but when I sat down I had an overwhelming feeling of "you said what I wanted you to say" Which made me cry a little more.

I am sure our ward feels really bad for Jay and the kids after witnessing the nutso side show performance?? And a few I'm sure won't speak to me until I pop this kid out for fear of being snotted on.

So I cried, I did the ugly shake cry and snot was excessive but the talk was given, I did what was asked (And I can pretty much GUARANTEE they A'INT asking me to speak again for the rest of their time as a Bishopric. Which lucky for me they were just put in.)

Dad said he wished he and mom could come down and listen to us speak so for them I put my talk in google docs and you can go read it by clicking here. Lucky for them they can read it minus my snot.


Wendy said...

I thought you did great! All my kids were even listening....which is a great accomplishment in it's self! You were well prepared, spoke from your heart and funny as all get out with your side comments about emotions and pregnancy. (My fav was directed to the bishopric "Just wait until I'm not pregnant! Stay out of dark alleys!" Or something to that effect!)
Loved it! And I think you are one of the most beautiful pregnant ladies ever! You just glow. Glad it's a girl. You are a great girl mom!
Jay did great too and Ashytn's song was so sweet.
And now you're off the "hot seat" of speaking for awhile!

snakeriverwalton said...

I thought you did great too! Don't be so hard on yourself. But you still have to do your lessons- and we don't care if you cry.

Dr Toad said...

Nice talk Sara ... I am so glad to have you as a daughter. You are doing the right things and raising a wonderful family. I am glad you recognize a greater power than your self ... sometimes that is all we have to keep us going. But more importantly you have learned to recognize the source of all your blessings.

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